Humanos

¿Qué es ser humano? ¿Qué es ser espiritual? ¿Seremos seres humanos teniendo una experiencia espiritual? o… ¿Seremos seres espirituales teniendo una experiencia humana?

Impuestos

Una multa es un impuesto por hacer lo incorrecto
Un impuesto es una multa por hacer lo correcto

How to make a Paco

Ingredients:

  • 3 parts intelligence
  • 1 parts crazyness
  • 2 parts arrogance
  • 3 parts instinct

Method:

  • Vigorously stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Serve with a slice of bitterness and a dash of curiosity, do not overindulge

Telemarketing Telmex

Riiiing…riiiing…!

Hola? Buenos días, ¿Usted es el titular de la línea?
Sí, soy yo mismo

¿Me puede decir su nombre por favor?

José Luis González

Señor González, le llamo de Telmex para ofrecerle una promoción consistente en la instalación de una línea adicional en su casa, en donde usted tendrá derecho a…
Disculpe la interrupción Señorita, pero, exactamente ¿quién es usted?

Mi nombre es Silvina Maciel, de Telmex y estamos llamando…
Silvina, discúlpeme, pero para nuestra seguridad me gustaría comprobar algunos datos antes de continuar la conversación, ¿le importa?
No tengo problemas señor

¿Desde qué teléfono me llama? En la pantallita del mío sólo pone “NÚMERO PRIVADO”
El interno mío es el 1004

¿Para qué departamento de Telmex trabaja? Telemarketing Activo.

¿Me podría dar el número de trabajadora de Telmex?
Señor, disculpe, pero creo que toda esa información no es necesaria…

Entonces lamentablemente tendré que colgar, porque no tengo la seguridad de hablar con una trabajadora de Telmex
Pero yo le puedo garantizar……………………….

Vea Silvina, cada vez que yo llamo a Telmex, antes de poder >> >>comenzar cualquier trámite, ¡estoy obligado a dar mis datos a toda una legión de empleados…!
Está bien Señor, mi número es el 34591212

Un momento, mientras lo verifico, no se retire Silvina… (Dos minutos)
Un momento por favor, toda la gente en casa se encuentra ocupada….(Cinco minutos)
¿Señor?

Un momento por favor, toda la gente en casa se encuentra ocupada…. Pero… ¡Hola Señor…!

Sí Silvina, gracias por la espera, nuestros sistemas están un poco lentos hoy… ¿Cuál era el asunto de su llamada?
Lo llamo de Telmex, estamos llamando para ofrecerle nuestra promoción “Línea Adicional”, en la que usted tiene derecho al uso de otra línea a muy bajo costo. ¿Usted estaría interesado Sr. González?

Silvina, le voy a comunicar con mi mujer, que es la encargada de la Sección de Adquisición de Productos Técnicos de la casa; por favor, no se retire. (Coloco el auricular del teléfono delante de una grabadora y pongo el CD de Lambada Mix 1998 con el Repeat activado. Sabía que algún día, esa porquería de música me sería útil. Después de sonar el CD entero, mi mujer atiende el teléfono): Gracias por la espera, ¿Con quién estoy hablando?
Con Silvina

¿Silvina qué?
Silvina Maciel (ya demostrando cierta irritación en la voz)

¿Cuál es su número de trabajadora de Telmex? 34591212 (más irritada todavía)

Gracias por la información Silvina, ¿en qué puedo ayudarla?
La llamo de Telmex, estamos llamando para ofrecerle nuestra promoción “Línea Adicional”, en la que usted tiene derecho a otra línea. ¿Estaría interesada?

Voy a ingresar su solicitud en nuestro programa de Nuevas
Adquisiciones y dentro de algunos días nos contactamos con usted. ¿Puede tomar nota del número de ingreso al programa por favor?…..¿hola?, ¿hola? TU…TU…TU….TU…

Kryptonite discovered in mine

A new mineral matching its unique chemistry – as described in the film Superman Returns – has been identified in a mine in Serbia. According to movie and comic-book storylines, kryptonite is supposed to sap Superman’s powers whenever he is exposed to its large green crystals. Real Kryptonite
The real mineral is white and harmless, says Dr Chris Stanley, a mineralogist at London’s Natural History Museum.”I’m afraid it’s not green and it doesn’t glow either – although it will react to ultraviolet light by fluorescing a pinkish-orange,” he told BBC News.

Rock heist

Researchers from mining group Rio Tinto discovered the unusual mineral and enlisted the help of Dr Stanley when they could not match it with anything known previously to science. Once the London expert had unravelled the mineral’s chemical make-up, he was shocked to discover this formula was already referenced in literature – albeit fictional literature. “Towards the end of my research I searched the web using the mineral’s chemical formula – sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide – and was amazed to discover that same scientific name, written on a case of rock containing kryptonite stolen by Lex Luther from a museum in the film Superman Returns. “The new mineral does not contain fluorine (which it does in the film) and is white rather than green but, in all other respects, the chemistry matches that for the rock containing kryptonite.” The mineral is relatively hard but is very small grained. Each individual crystal is less than five microns (millionths of a metre) across.

Elementary clash

Identifying its atomic structure required sophisticated analytical facilities at Canada’s National Research Council and the assistance and expertise of its researchers, Dr Pamela Whitfield and Dr Yvon Le Page. “‘Knowing a material’s crystal structure means scientists can calculate other physical properties of the material, such as its elasticity or thermochemical properties,” explained Dr Le Page. “Being able to analyse all the properties of a mineral, both chemical and physical, brings us closer to confirming that it is indeed unique.” Finding out that the chemical composition of a material was an exact match to an invented formula for the fictitious kryptonite “was the coincidence of a lifetime,” he added. The mineral cannot be called kryptonite under international nomenclature rules because it has nothing to do with krypton – a real element in the Periodic Table that takes the form of a gas.

Power possibilities

Instead, it will be formally named Jadarite when it is described in the European Journal of Mineralogy later this year. Jadar is the name of the place where the Serbian mine is located. Dr Stanley said that if deposits occurred in sufficient quantity it could have some commercial value. It contains boron and lithium – two valuable elements with many applications, he explained. “Borosilicate glasses are used to encapsulate processed radioactive waste, and lithium is used in batteries and in the pharmaceutical industries.”

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/science/nature/6584229.stm
Published: 2007/04/24 02:46:51 GMT
© BBC MMVII

When insults had class

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. ”
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
Groucho Marx

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”– Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend….
if you have one.”
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
Winston Churchill, in response

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”
Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
Paul Keating

“He had delusions of adequacy.”
Walter Kerr

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge .”
Thomas Brackett Reed

“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work,
he overcame them.”
James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.”
Andrew Lang

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
Billy Wilder